Sometimes Life Really Sucks!

I know, such a bummer sounding title right? Sorry, but the past few days have pretty much sucked. I can't think of a better way to say it.  Thursday afternoon my MIL called to tell us my FIL had had a small stroke and was in the hospital. He had the stroke the day before. I was a little miffed no one had called us but whatever, not really important. So DH came home early and after the day care kids left we headed out for the 45 minute drive to them.  FIL was actually doing much better than I think DH or I thought he would be. He had had a mini stroke about six months ago. He will need to be in a physical therapy facility for a couple of weeks and then we will see from there.

So we visit with the in-laws for a bit and head home. I get on FB and read a very disturbing message about a tragedy in my friend's family. She didn't say what, just that they had suffered a tragedy and needed prayers.  Not exactly the kind of thing you want to read, especially with no real answers. I saw that her daughter was on FB so asked if she could tell me what happened.  Her brother, a 28 year old father of two, had committed suicide earlier that night.  Our whole community is in shock. I have known this young man since he was 6 years old. He is in between my two oldest boys in age and so has spent a lot of time with them over the years. His mother and I have been friends for 20 years.

It is so hard because this is a kid that just was always kind and generous and positive in every way. He was the kid I wanted hanging out at our house because I knew I could trust him and he would keep my boys in line just by his example. His parents have been blindsided by the whole thing but they are so strong it amazes me.  I went over today and we talked and laughed and cried and hugged and cried some more.

This mom and I had just talked earlier that day. We have this ongoing conversation about how blessed we are to have the kids that we have. Her kids I swear are some of the best people I know. They have never gotten in any kind of trouble, ever! They just are hard working, good kids. She is the mom the rest of us look to for our example.  Anyway we were chatting and joking around, like we often do, about how we must be some of the weak ones because the Lord has sent us such easy kids to raise. We look around (even in our own families) and see what others have had to go through raising their kids and we tell each other, "There is no way I could deal with that. The Lord sent that child to that mom because they are so much stronger."  Little did either one of us know how her strength would be tested just a few hours later. And she is now finding out just how strong she really, truly is.

I know why life sucks sometimes and because I know it does make it a little easier to deal with but darn it it still hurts and this has really, really hurt. I have had a hard time and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I have known this family for so long. Maybe it is because this young man is the age of my own sons or maybe it's because if this tragedy can happen to this family than it could happen to any of us and that has me feeling a little unsteady right now.

I think it is mostly because I am a mom and as a mom I imagine myself in this friend's shoes and I don't know how I would cope. I hope that I would cope with half the dignity and faith that this woman is.  Even in her darkest hour she is still such an example to me.

Life sucks right now but with each new day that we are blessed to have on this earth and each new moment we are given with our loved ones it feels a little better and as you try to make sense of the "why" you are blessed with recognizing God's hand in all things. Although many lives have forever been changed these past few days there is still much to celebrate in the world and so we continue on because for the rest of us our journey is not yet over.