a dear friend who lives on the other side of the country and has just experienced a huge loss? It breaks my heart that she is going through this and I can't be there for her. I woke up this morning and found a text from her that her baby was delivered stillborn late last night. This is the dear baby she and her husband had tried and tried for a very long time to conceive. This was the baby her little son was getting very excited to meet and hold. This was his baby sister. And all I could do was send her back a text telling her how very, very sorry I am that she has experienced such a huge loss and how I wish I was there to hug her and comfort her. Of course I am saying prayers for her and I believe in the power of prayer so that is something I can and will continue to do for her but it just doesn't feel like enough.
Some day, when she is not feeling so raw, I will share with her what I know to be true about her precious little daughter. I know her daughter is in the arms of a loving Father in Heaven. I know that she and her family can be with this little girl again and can raise her in the eternities. I know that as hard as it is right now and for a long time, maybe even her whole time on this earth, her arms will ache to hold this baby, but life goes on and her pain will lessen as the years go by.
I believe we are all spirit children of our Heavenly Father and by choice we came to this earth to gain a body so we could be with him again for eternity. I believe that while most of us need a little more time on this earth to prove our obedience and worthiness to live with our Father again, there are a select few that do not need to go through the trials of this life. They are already perfect and their only need is to have a body to house their spirits. I believe her precious daughter is one of these select few.
I don't know what my friend believes but some day I will share with her what I believe and I hope in some small way it will give her comfort because she is on the other side of the country and it is really all I can do.
after just going through a loss earlier this month my heart grieves with your friend. I had such a hard time getting through your first paragraph without mourning with you and your friend. You are right about the baby being in the arms of a loving Father! I've found comfort in Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee" knowing that God knew the baby ever before being born and know that when we die, we'll see our baby(s) in Heaven awaiting our arrival.
ReplyDeleteFor now, how do you comfort when you are so far away? By prayer and encouraging your friend as much as possible. While she is so very far away, listening to her mourning, praying with her or for her is a wonderful process for grieving. I will say a prayer for her as soon as this post is processed.
I know no one ever wants to hear it, including me when we lost our baby, that God is in control and it happened for a reason.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die" (vs 4) "A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance" Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose" and finally 1 Corinthians 10:13 "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it"
So even though we are consumed with such grief and mourning, we can take comfort that God is in control and that He will not give us more than we can handle. Sure we think we can't handle it, but God is there, holding our hand or carrying us through if only we draw from His strength and comfort.
Shari, I write this not just to you or your friend, but also to myself. It has been 18 days since we lost our baby and every day is a trial within itself. Even today, I need to hear these words. Be a friend to your friend, continue encouraging her. Dont forget her loss in the new year, grieve with her from afar and most importantly, pray! She will one day get the comfort that she so desperatly needs! Call her on Christmas, tell her you love her and are praying for her. She's going to need all the support through this Christmas season!
With much love,
an anonymous friend from ScrapMatters